No lo sé…

This week’s entry is… a bit strange. Because there isn’t one. But that’s kind of what I want to write about.

Months ago, when I rebooted this site to its current form, I said that I wouldn’t write critical reviews of bad music because I don’t like being mean, and I don’t like listening to bad music. But to say that all music is either praise-worthy enough to shout from the rooftops, or trashy boom-boom is not exactly how “quality” works.

Generally, how I come up with what album to go over comes from the Listen List of the previous Monday (or the previous two Mondays if there’s a double). I listen—yes, to all of them—and pick which one either has the most profound effect on me, or, barring that, the one that seems like it’s the most culturally interesting.

But sometimes, like this week, there’s just… nothing. Nothing so bad as to make me turn it off. Nothing so good as to remember any of the songs. So, without being mean, and technically without listening to bad music, let’s talk about it.

The Age of Pleasure by Janelle Monáe

This might be the most disappointing of the week. Janelle hasn’t released an album since 2018’s Dirty Computer, which, if I may be so bold, was a masterpiece. In fact, since 2010’s The ArchAndroid (and especially including that one) everything she’s touched has been hot like molten lava. The Age of Pleasure has some decent hooks, I guess, but it was really lacking that “oomph” that her previous efforts had. It’s by no means a bad album, just certainly not up to the lofty standard Janelle Monáe has set for herself.

Weathervanes by Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit

Country has never been my scene, and it’s never gonna. I can hear the technical precision of the instruments, the ingenuity of Jason’s lyrics, even the production is above average. But it just… eh, I don’t know, it just sounds all so… cliché. If it weren’t for the fact that Jason Isbell’s topics of songwriting are diverse and interesting, this would sound just like any other 90’s country album. Technically fine, but it’s just not blowing me out of the water.

O Monolith by Squid

This was an odd bird for sure. Experimental, a bit, leaning towards old-school prog rock (think Yes, or the original Genesis line-up). But much like ol’ Jason up there, it sounds like it’s been done. Plus, I found myself daydreaming or getting preoccupied with other thoughts, and when that happens when you’re actively listening to an album… not a great sign.

Paranoïa, Angels, True Love by Christine and the Queens

This one is, by a wide margin, the best of the bunch. It almost had me writing a review. Christine has completely changed sonic direction here, from Chris’ hyperpop duets with Charli XCX, to Paranoïa’s dark, moody trip-hop throwback. If there was going to be a successor to Portishead, this album would put Christine and the Queens at the head of the casting sheet. “He’s been shining here forever, your son,” in particular, is just stunningly gorgeous. But, like all of their previous efforts, it’s sooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. I got through an hour of it and so there were still 7 songs left. All my effort drained from me. But seriously, if you have the wherewithal and the space on your schedule, really do check this one out.

The Show by Niall Horan

Gotta be honest, this was never going to be my thing. Pop rock and pop punk are just sounds I don’t vibe with. Every time I see any artist or band in that sphere get great reviews, I try. O lordy do I try. But it is just not for me. I’m glad to see another previous One Direction member get hyped for a solo effort, but I can’t do it myself. Sorry, buddy.

Zango by Witch

Normally, this would definitely be up my alley. Fuzzy guitars? Check. Psychedelic? Check. Michael-Kiwanuka-esque backing vocals you can’t discern? Check, check, check. This one was sadly just a victim of time. I feel like I could get into it if I just had a couple more listens, but there are other things, unfortunately. This one could still pop up later in the year, we’ll have to give it another spin.

Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? by McKinley Dixon

Jazz is a sound that I often have trouble accepting, or listening to for long periods of time. Sure, there are outliers, like Sons of Kemet, or The Comet Is Coming, but for the most part, I simply don’t get it. Rap, as I discussed in my Scaring the Hoes review, is also a genre I have great difficulty discussing. I like listening to it just fine, but for whatever reason I have a really hard time describing it without getting overly repetitive. Jazz Rap?! Just forget it. Beloved!… is a very, very good album, I just don’t have the vernacular to do it justice. Seriously check it out though.

And that’s it. That’s why there’s no review this week. And here’s a secret: as long as this article is, it took me one-fifth of the time to write.

Be back next week though, where I predict a certain Mr. Homme might be joining us…

Happy Listening!